Take me to that place before I knew love. I want to remember how it felt to have myself come first. Don’t get me wrong, I have become very independent with time, and I have discovered that in order to love you must love yourself, but even now love is what I think about the most.

There is a time in a person’s life when you discover what love is. It doesn’t matter if it’s you, or if you’re seeing it in someone or something else, but you will witness it. Everyone dreams for that day. Everyone wants to believe in love. Sometimes it’s hard and we forget love is what matters in the world. Without it we have nothing but greed and selfishness. Love is like magic. It can make things happen. Love can change you, make you, or break you. The more we love the harder we fall, that much is true. But I would never choose not to love. Once you’ve experienced or witnessed it, you will thrive for it. Love is an addiction and there is no cure.

I have seen love in every stage: the first, the passionate, the everlasting, the destroying, the misunderstood, the obsession, the friendship. It’s always fascinating to see the lengths people will go for the ones they truly care about. I know I have done some pretty crazy things just because I loved someone. There is extreme power behind love, and when people take advantage it can be extremely dangerous. Everyone starts off as strangers so you’re usually passing through the stages, but there are times when it hits hard fast and you’re left there breathless with no idea how you got there.

I come from a lifetime of being surrounded by, hurt & learning from love. When I get upset or I can’t sleep, this is what I want to write about.

This above passage was from 2013.

As we go through each post, we are going through years of my struggle. I am giving you every bit of me to get you to be able to have enough background as to how I got here. 2017. Bipolar Borderline.

These twists and turns are going to seem crazy. One moment I’m obsessed with love, one moment I feel nothing. One moment I’m heartbroken, the next I’m heartbreaking. But THIS, this is mental illness. This is the last time I justify anything. This is the last time I try to explain where my thoughts are coming from.

Buckle up.

Welcome into my mind.